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The beginning of a new year is a time for fresh
starts. We assess where we've been, and where we want to go.
We make course changes and
adjustments. We resolve to do better.
But too often, new year resolutions are a form of
self-flagellation. You've put on a few pounds with
holiday eating, so you resolve to stick to a diet, go to
the gym three times a week, etc. If you tend to soothe
emotional pain with food, self-flagellation about weight
does not get you where you want to go! Kindness and compassion towards
yourself work much better.
When new year resolutions are about "shoulds" - all
the things you haven't been doing but "should" be doing
- they just make you feel guilty and bad about yourself. And
moreover, they don't work! Try this instead:
resolve to do a better job of taking care of yourself
and getting your needs met so you don't need food
Band-Aids in the first place.
It can be something small - even small things can
have a big emotional impact. For example, does your
partner leave all the dish washing to you? Resolve that
in 2009, you will no longer do more than your share of
this job! And then plan out how to make it happen.
Do you spend your entire day "doing" for others, and
have no time to yourself? Resolve to
find a way to make time for yourself, even if it's just
an hour a day. If you have kids,
arrange for a neighbor or family member to watch them
for an hour or two. You are human; you have needs that
matter, too!
Are you not getting enough sleep at night - staying
up too late, never feeling fully rested? Resolve that
you will give yourself the gift of sleep!
Are you eating junk food all the time, rather than
feeding yourself nutritious food, because you just don't
have time to arrange proper meals? Are you eating in a way that you'd never
allow your own child to eat? How you feel and how you think is
profoundly affected by the quality of the fuel you give
your body. Provide yourself with good food to eat!
Here's a big one... Have you been putting off a
dream because you're scared to take the step?
Have you been thinking for years about returning to
school or writing a book or some other project? Resolve
to believe in yourself! Trust that you can do it! And do
it!
In 2009, resolve to be kind to yourself, to nurture
yourself, to provide for your own needs as you would for
anyone else you loved, and - most of all - resolve to trust
yourself. You can be trusted! You can trust yourself to
know when and what to eat without a feeding schedule.
You can trust yourself to make good decisions in your
own behalf in all areas of your life.
Here's to a happy and self-affirming new year!
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